Just another post on another day
Today is October 13th 2017.
This post is just basically a bunch of stuff that I been thinking about. This IS my online diary after all. Anyway....lately I have been a bit irritable. I don't want to be touched. I don't want to talk. I just didn't want to do anything. I just felt anger all the time. I prayed about it and after a couple of days I actually started to feel good. I haven't felt irritable since I prayed.
I think one of the reasons I feel the way I feel is because I'm cooped up in the house all the time. And this house is half the size of the house I'm used to. At least when we lived out in the country I could look out the window and seen nothing but green grass. It was so peaceful. But now I don't even look out the window. All that is out there is houses because we live in a neighborhood now. That's part of the reason I have been depressed. I mean we should have stayed out in the country but we didn't because I felt bad that my sister was mad at me for not moving closer to her. This was the worst decision of my life because now I'm not happy and my house is smaller. All I can do now and until the time we move is concentrate on clearing up our credit so when the time comes we can buy a house on some land or have a house built on a piece of land we choose.
I swear...sometimes I don't even want to go anywhere and then I'm depressed because I don't go anywhere. I wish my husband and I could win the lottery and then neither one of us would have to work and we can spend all day taking care of our kids and raising our own animals as well as growing our own food. I want to experience so many things. I want to fowl a horse. I want to build the perfect chicken coop area. I want to have the best garden ever...in raised beds if I could to grow our own fruits and vegetables. I want to build a green house for the winter months. I want to have a property that is half woods and has a pond where we can go fishing in. And hike on the trails. I want wildlife at my backdoor. I want goats and pigs and horses and chickens. That would make me so so so happy. I wish I could get that and have that experience with my husband and kids. Maybe if we work really hard we will be able to one day. I hope.....
This post is just basically a bunch of stuff that I been thinking about. This IS my online diary after all. Anyway....lately I have been a bit irritable. I don't want to be touched. I don't want to talk. I just didn't want to do anything. I just felt anger all the time. I prayed about it and after a couple of days I actually started to feel good. I haven't felt irritable since I prayed.
I think one of the reasons I feel the way I feel is because I'm cooped up in the house all the time. And this house is half the size of the house I'm used to. At least when we lived out in the country I could look out the window and seen nothing but green grass. It was so peaceful. But now I don't even look out the window. All that is out there is houses because we live in a neighborhood now. That's part of the reason I have been depressed. I mean we should have stayed out in the country but we didn't because I felt bad that my sister was mad at me for not moving closer to her. This was the worst decision of my life because now I'm not happy and my house is smaller. All I can do now and until the time we move is concentrate on clearing up our credit so when the time comes we can buy a house on some land or have a house built on a piece of land we choose.
I swear...sometimes I don't even want to go anywhere and then I'm depressed because I don't go anywhere. I wish my husband and I could win the lottery and then neither one of us would have to work and we can spend all day taking care of our kids and raising our own animals as well as growing our own food. I want to experience so many things. I want to fowl a horse. I want to build the perfect chicken coop area. I want to have the best garden ever...in raised beds if I could to grow our own fruits and vegetables. I want to build a green house for the winter months. I want to have a property that is half woods and has a pond where we can go fishing in. And hike on the trails. I want wildlife at my backdoor. I want goats and pigs and horses and chickens. That would make me so so so happy. I wish I could get that and have that experience with my husband and kids. Maybe if we work really hard we will be able to one day. I hope.....
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